SWM 5-7-5: The Personal Ad Haikus

Cute, smart, funny, broke.
Good lay. Gets chubby, drunk when
Dope. Average dick.

I am a genius.
I'll make your ears ring. You know
you want this. Call me.

Wilderness? Been there.
Scary, and exciting. I have
seen the Elephant.

I like the World, or
most of it. Next time, I'd like
to be: Someone Else.

Single for a year.
Not too lonesome, but then
I jerk off a lot.

Fuck you! I am not
crazy. There's niggers on the roof.
Again. I can smell them

You'll probably bore me
unless I'm medicated.
Sounds OK to me.

Been in a bad mood
twenty years. Though you can't
fix me,
let's pretend.

Don't get married. Till
I move to Cali. Till you
get to meet me. Next year.

Have awesome dog. Don't
have job. Live with my dad - who
I dream of killing.

You could do much worse,
but long-term, I'm a disaster.
Your favorite mistake.

Girls write poems for
me. I've fucked fifty women.
Next bitch: rhapsodize!

Speedballs? You're talking
my language - that huge sound that
you smell in your mind.

Open-minded - but
I wont smoke crack, huff gas, or
give you any money.

(Editor's note: if a word can be pronounced using 2 or 3 syllables, definitely go with 2. Hyphenation is not permitted but the preceding may include the "haiku bonus" which is a totally free bonus syllable, usually added at the end, thus 5-7-6)